Escape Plan

Ok guys, I’ve been pretty up front with my love for over the top action flicks. They are the type of films I grew up on. When I was a kid, Schwarzenegger,  Stallone, and Willis were the biggest action stars around and it seemed like every other movie that came out had one or the other of them in it. Then they got old, became governors, or moved on to other types of roles. Then a few years ago, Schwarzenegger and Willis made cameo appearances in Stallone’s The Expendables making action flick fanboys go nuts. I mean, the three biggest action stars from the 80’s in the same film? It was awesome. Finally, Schwarzenegger stepped down as governor and reignited his film career with full force. Last years The Last Stand totally lived up to my expectations for Ahhhnold’s return and I was really looking forward to this team up.

Stallone stars as Ray Breslin, a man who works under cover for the government breaking out of maximum security prisons to show their flaws. After accepting a deal that is pretty fucking sketchy from the start, he ends up in a supermax prison called The Tomb that is meant to make its inmates disappear from society permanently and naturally, he is trapped. He befriends Schwarzenegger’s Rottmayer and the two begin to hatch their plan for escape. Some pretty significant revelations come to light and naturally, some pretty big action sequences are included.

Long story short, I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE. It was everything that I wanted it to be and more. Instead of trying to avoid the slightly cheesy 80’s action movie clichés, this flick embraces them and wears them like a badge of honor, almost making them cool. Stallone and Schwarzenegger and stone cold bad asses together with enough swagger to fuel a small country. Naturally, there is an awesome scene where Schwarzenegger pulls a mounted machine gun off of a helicopter while giving a really intense look and starts mowing down the enemy with it. True badassery defined.

Some parts of the story line are slightly cliche. Some of the dialogue is kind of cheesy and some of the performances are a little over the top, but none of that matters. This is such a goddamn good movie it makes you forget about all of that. For an explosive good time give this movie a watch. Til next time…

-Heath
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25 Films Of Christmas: Jingle All The Way

Christmas is bearing down on us much more quickly than I realized until today. In just a week and a half, Santa will be making his big trip and eyes will be lighting up as those longed for toys and electronics are unwrapped. For this entry I chose my most favorite holiday movie. I grew up in a time when Arnold Schwarzenegger was pretty much the biggest star in Hollywood. The man could do no wrong, especially in my opinion. So it was only natural that when he made a Christmas movie, it quickly became my favorite and remains so to this day.

This story begins with Howard Langston (played by Schwarzenegger, side note…why is it that he always got cast as characters with overly Americanized names?), an over worked, corporate executive who is constantly letting his young son down. His wife reminds him well ahead of Christmas to pick up a deluxe Turbo Man action figure for their son as one of his gifts. Naturally, he forgets until Christmas Eve. He begins his impossible mission with every stop ending in disappointment. He finally begins a cat and mouse chase with postman Myron Larabee (portrayed by Sinbad) as they are both hunting for the same figure. There is also a hilarious subplot involving Ted Maltin (the late great Phil Hartman) trying to hook up with Howard’s wife.

This is a great family film, hands down. Also a great film to get you in the mood for the season. I havent had my yearly viewing yet, but I assure you its coming soon. As with many of my other holiday favorites, I hope that my son develops a love, or at the very least an appreciation, for these films. I certainly intend to share them with him every opportunity that I get. Happy Holidays from my family to yours.

-Heath

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Olympus Has Fallen

Also not a part of the ongoing November series.

Let me start by saying that I love ridiculous, over-the-top action films. All of those Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis films from the 80’s are some of my favorite films. Obviously not for great concepts and scripts, but just for being so bad ass. Tons of guns, ammo, explosions, crashes, and thwarting terrorist plots…how could it get any better? Judging by the previews, this movie fit the bill so naturally, it got my attention.

The White House/president are the targets of a terrorist plot. The body count rises pretty quickly, the president is taken hostage and the Speaker of the House, played by Morgan Freeman, is placed in charge. Disgraced former Secret Service agent Mike Banning makes his way into the White House soon after the attack begins. He loads up on ammo and starts kicking ass. Long story short, it lives up to the reputation set by all of those awesome action films from the 80’s and 90’s.

I loved this movie plain and simple.  It doesnt have the best script and the plot is kind of recycled but it is still good. I got to relive a little of my childhood while watching this movie. Looking up to Gerard Butler the same way I did Schwarzenegger and Stallone in most of their films. For an explosive good time give it a shot.

-Heath

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Pacific Rim

Just a heads up before we get started, this isn’t a part of the “Movies We’re Thankful For” series.

I will admit, I went into this film with a healthy, and justified in my opinion, bit of skepticism.  I mean let’s be honest, giant robots fighting giant aliens to save the world? Sounds a bit ridiculous especially for a director as respected as Guillermo Del Toro. That being said, I was pleasantly surprised. Dont get me wrong, this is total B-Movie fodder but with a huge budget and solid actors thrown behind it which makes for a totally different experience.

Long story short, a giant rift opens beneath the ocean in the…you guessed it, Pacific Rim. The rift acts as a bridge between our world and that of a race of aliens evidently trying to destroy our world. There is no shortage of ridiculous concept here and large amounts of robot vs. alien action isnt doing much to help that fact. That’s not to say this film isn’t a ton of fun though. Del Toro helps to bring it back down to earth and keep it from being too wacky.

It’s not quite high concept, but sometimes it is nice to have some mindless fun. This film provides plenty of that and then some. Not the best acting, script, or most original concept but I loved it. It was a just over two hour escape from reality that kept me entertained. Give it a shot if you want to watch a film that you don’t have to think too much about.

-Heath

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Parker or Whose ass is Statham kicking in this film?

The answer to that question is: nearly everyone. If you haven’t watched Parker yet then here’s what you need to know. It has Jason Statham in it. Aside from that the story goes like this… Statham plays the title character of Parker, a thief with a code of ethics, think of a more ass kicking Robin Hood. He hooks up with four other guys to do a job, jobs done, there’s a double cross, Parker is left for dead and the rest of the movie is classic Statham. Now let’s talk actors…

Michael Chiklis, after watching him turn in performances in both Fantastic Four films and then as a father with super powers in No Ordinary Family, it was refreshing to see the bad ass Chiklis from The Shield that we all know and love. Having not watched many trailers for this film, it was a pleasant surprise when he turned up. Jennifer Lopez, it was kind of nice seeing her in a film where she wasn’t really playing the romantic interest, instead she’s cast as a down on her luck real estate agent. She’s not Jenny Fromdablok here, she’s just a frustrated, in debt divorcee who steals the right client from a rival agent…and they even find a reason for her to strip down to her delicates. Nick Nolte, the other surprise actor in this film, not because his few minutes of screen time were astounding but because I wasn’t expecting it. Mr. Nolte (did you know he was 72…me either) did what he does best, talked tough and gravely and made me want to watch 48 Hours again. And now to the man himself, Jason Statham. Whether he’s saving a little girl, delivering the goods, keeping his heart beating or playing sidekick to Sly, Jason Statham is entertaining to watch and this time around he even tries on a Texas accent. Every film of his that I’ve watched, I’ve enjoyed and this one is no different. He gets the bad guys, drops a one liner here and there and in the end it’s peaches. Is he being typecast as the ass kicking action hero, perhaps, but look at those who have come before him Schwarzenegger, Willis, Stallone…They’ve done pretty well in that role and as long as he stays away from the Van Damme end of the spectrum I think he’ll be okay.

All in all Parker was a fun watch, asses were kicked, things exploded and revenge was served cold. If you’re looking for a high society drama or a Nicholas Sparks love story then this isn’t for you but if you’re looking for an entertaining action flick with great actors and a decent plot based on a Richard Stark novel then this is the film for you and the reasons I give Parker a rating of: Catch It On Netflix. Till next time, stay entertained friends.

-D

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Oblivion

I was first interested in viewing Oblivion solely based on the striking images used on the posters. They gave the impression of an Earth long after some type of worldwide disaster/human abandonment. I’m not much of a Tom Cruise fan but he has made enough films that I liked to give this one a chance and…I’m very glad I did.

The premise is surprisingly original for a larger budget Sci-Fi/action film. It’s not the same old rehashed plot point with slightly different variables. As you have probably seen from the promotional materials, the film takes place some years after a major disaster on planet Earth and humanity bailed for greener pastures. Tom Cruise is one of two people stationed high above Earths surface to monitor the security of several very large energy converters. Naturally, things go awry and a monkey wrench is thrown in the whole system.

Tom Cruise’s performance is surprisingly good in this film. Ironically, he is more down to earth and natural than he has been in a long time. Morgan Freeman is a highlight, as always. I won’t specify who his character is as it may ruin some key plot points. Olga Kurylenko also earns an honorable mention for her very key role.

Oblivion is backed by a great cast, directed very adeptly. The script is solid, featuring an incredibly unique and original plot that is the exact opposite of derivative. This is an all around good film and is worth the time and money.
4/5

-Heath

Man Of Steel

To answer the question that’s been keeping you all awake at night, I shed no tears during Man Of Steel. There were some heart warming moments but none that had me wiping away tears from underneath my 3D glasses. Speaking of 3D, let’s jump in.

If you haven’t watched this film yet and are considering watching it in 3D, allow me to attempt to save you a couple of bucks. I honestly didn’t feel that the 3D brought anything to the film that couldn’t have been enjoyed just as much in 2D. To the good stuff.

Going to try my best to keep this as spoiler free as possible friends.

In the beginning, Kal-El was born. It’s an origin story we all know and the writers handle it well. A child is born, a world is dying, let’s send him to earth and hope that a kind, loving couple will find him and raise him as their own. With the childhood years told in flashbacks the story never gets bogged down by character development, which so many comic book adaptations tend to do. But not here friends, no, here the story is quick paced and entertaining, filled with action packed battles and even a laugh or two. Now to the actors.

I won’t waste your time or bore you here by giving you a play by play review of every actors performance. Let me hit the high points: Henry Cavill was an excellent choice for the Man Of Steel, as he was able to convince me that a man with god-like powers could still be a humble Kansas farm boy at heart. Watching Russell Crowe embody Jor-El had me at one point wanting to shout “Are you not entertained?”. This is the part where I have to glance up and remind myself that I wasn’t going to review every performance and force myself to move on. I enjoyed everyones performance and felt the casting choices were spot on. Michael Shannon as General Zod brought a bit of humanity to the Kryptonian villain…damn it there I go again…

And heres the wrap up. Man Of Steel kept me entertained for the near two and a half hour running time it clocked in at. I think it was a great way to reboot the Superman franchise and hopefully the first lead in to The Justice League movie we’ve been promised and anxiously awaiting for years. For those of you like me that sit through the end credits of every movie I’ll save you some time and let you know there is nothing after the credits, stand up and leave with the rest.

Man Of Steel gets a strong: Catch it in theaters(but in 2D). Hope you enjoy it friends.

-D

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

When I first watched the trailer for this movie I was intrigued but gave it a pass in theaters. After watching it today, I’m glad I did.

Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a horrible film. There were some laughs, decent special effects and even some brief nudity. The story is one we all know: kids left in forest stumble upon house made of candy and begin to nibble, witch throws them in a cage and tries to fatten them up so she can cook and eat them, kids push witch in oven committing first step towards becoming sociopaths…or something like that.

Don’t go into this film expecting anything more than what it is, a fairy tale stretched to almost ninety minutes. The actors turn in decent performances, Peter Stormare does his asshole routine and Jeremy Renner stops by in between Avengers and Mission: Impossible sequels. Gemma Arterton as Hansel’s ass-kicking, foul mouthed sister Gretel, is the other half of the witch killing duo who’s five year mission is to seek out new life and…no wait, thats another movie, their mission is just to kill witches.

Entertaining but nothing to go out of your way to see, all in all I’d give Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters a : wait for it on Netflix Instant.

-D

It’s Always A Good Day to Die Hard

Die Hard is by far one of my favorite franchises of all time. At the very least it is my favorite action franchises because, well Bruce Willis is a stone cold badass…with a heart of gold. I will give nearly any film with the great Mr. Willis a chance but, this isn’t a love letter to Bruno (crickets…anyone?) it’s a review of the latest installment in the classic action franchise.

Over the last 20 years the franchise has turned from “everyday cop in wrong place at wrong time goes above and beyond to stop terrorist plot” to “stone cold badass kills everything with a heartbeat that is involved in terrorist plot including driving cars into helicopters”. Even though the films lost some heart in the last couple of installments they more than make up for it with awesome stunts and a bigger body count. The films have also gotten a little more formulaic in the last 2 films and A Good Day To Die Hard is no exception.

Starting out with John McClane going to Moscow to try and help his estranged son, John Jr., without the latter’s knowledge of course. In true Die Hard fashion shit hits the fan fairly rapidly with a kidnapping/rescue attempt and some great action sequences including some over the top scenes in the style of Live Free or Die Hard. Bruce still has that magic and charisma that have made us pull for McClane for the better part of 30 years all while maintaining that everyman quality. Jai Courtney is a welcome addition to the franchise as John’s eldest child John Jr. Courtney hasn’t had a lot of work but what I’ve seen indicates a promising future for him.

After a massive body count, several awesome explosions, a helicopter crash, a trip to Chernobyl and of course Yippi Ki Yay Motherfucker, this film delivers pure entertainment from start to finish. Even if it is a little formulaic it is surprisingly not predictable. Good performances and a solid script make the latest entry in the Die Hard series well worth your money. I give this one a solid 4/5 rating…or fully erect whichever you prefer.

-Heath

Arnold’s Return

I just finished watching the film The Last Stand. For those of you unfamiliar, the film is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s return to leading roles since he left the Governors seat. Rewind 15-18 years to when I was just a young boy. Arnold was my hero and my all time favorite actor and remained so until he retired to enter politics. I loved T2, Commando, Total Recall, True Lies, and even Jingle All The Way.

Fast forward to 2012, Arnold did an expanded cameo in the Expendables 2 expanding on his cameo from the first film. I was so excited to see him back in the game kicking ass and taking names and it ended up being everything I wanted it to be. It set the stage for his full fledged comeback in The Last Stand, which I unfortunately missed in theaters. The film was everything one would want it to be, Arnold being Arnold with a pretty decent supporting cast in Forrest Whitaker, Luis Guzman, Peter Stormare, and Johnny Knoxville. The script is decent for what it is (I mean honestly, are you really expecting Inception?).

To sum up, it is a really great flick and is the perfect way for Arnold to make his big return. I can’t wait to keep seeing him kick ass for several more years to come.

-Heath

Don’t call it a comeback!

Gave this a watch this morning and wasn’t disappointed(unless you count Peter Stormares attempt at a southern accent). Arnolds return to film, his first leading role since T3, was exactly what I was expecting, only better. There are no twists or surprises, only what I’ve come to love from Mr. “Come with me if you want to live”, ass kicking and the occasional one liner.

This movie is right in Schwarzeneggers wheelhouse, bad guys doing bad guy things and Arnold is the only one who can stop them, add car chases, gun fights, a dash of laughs and bake at 450 or until everyones ass has been kicked.

All in all I dug this flick and look forward to his next
-D