Posts Tagged ‘J.K. Rowling’

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“Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts”

Like hell! Last year we had a three headed dog, a mountain troll, ghosts, Quidditch, huge feasts, learned some magic and got to save the day. Why wouldn’t you go back. Seriously, you would have to lock me in my room and bar the windows to keep me from going back.

Trying to stay out of trouble while patiently waiting for the summer to end, Harry finds himself being forced to hide as The Assholes prepare for a small dinner party. While upstairs “pretending he doesn’t exist” Harry gets a visit from Dobby the house elf. Seems he’s come to warn Harry that danger and certain death await him should he return to Hogwarts. Harry insists he will return, Dobby drops a cake on a dinner guest and Harry is locked in his room, with bars on the windows. Harry gets sprung by the Weaslys in their fathers flying car, is introduced to traveling via Floo powder and we find out where Draco gets his bad attitude from. I’d love to tell you more but you’ll have to open the chamber for yourselves…see what I did there…

Where The Stone introduced us to The Wizarding World, The Chamber dares us to come back, delve deeper and stay a little longer. By a little longer I mean this film clocks at nearly three hours, so have your snacks close at hand. Sadly this was the last time Richard Harris would portray Dumbledore, a few weeks prior to the American opening of this film, he lost his battle with Hodgkins Disease. Beware the heir of Slytherin and till next time friends, stay entertained.

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I ventured into the world of Harry Potter one evening after searching through the aisles of a local video store and finding nothing else that caught my eye. At the time I had no real interest in the wizarding world. Sure I was aware of the popularity of the Potter. I had seen the lines of parents and children, dressed in costume outside of bookstores waiting for the midnight release of each new novel. The same was seen outside theaters with the release of each film but for some reason I had skipped over these films. After that night I was a fan.

If you’ve never given this film a chance I’ll try not to spoil it for you here, off we go…

Harry is an orphan being raised by a couple of assholes along side their own asshole child. They treat him awfully until one day a letter arrives for Harry, one which Aunt and Uncle Asshole don’t want him to see. They destroy it and another arrives and the cycle continues, with the number of letters multiplying, until they pack up and head off to a shack on an island. There in the middle of the night we’re introduced to Hagrid and find out that Harry is a wizard. From there its magical surprises, creatures and places at nearly every turn.

While I did arrive late to Platform 9 3/4 I’m happy to say I didn’t miss the train entirely. I was able to catch up on the first four films before hitting the theater for the rest. Along the way I started reading the books, avoiding each until I had watched the corresponding film. That way, everything that the people who had read the books first and were pissed about, I viewed those same occurrences as little surprises.

Don’t avoid these films because you’ve dismissed them as “kids stuff”, it’s true the books were aimed at a younger audience but thankfully J.K. Had the good sense to make them fun for adults too.Till next time friends, stay entertained.

-D

@ShitAboutFuck
@dhbates87
@onetripdown

The wizarding world was rocked recently when J.K. Rowling revealed that she thought Harry and Hermione should have ended up together. Muggles around the globe were outraged, pitchforks and torches were gathered as stakes were prepared for the burning of the heresy committing witch. How dare she…

Seriously though, I can’t be the only one out there, other than J.K. that thought Harry and Hermione would end up together with “Uncle Ron” crashing on their couch well into his thirties. Then you see this thing start to develop between Ron and Hermione and you think it’ll be okay because Harry is interested in this chick named Cho but at no time does he say “Hey Cho, we’re gonna head out and fuck with Voldemort…you in?”

Then Jenny pops back in the picture after having crushed on Harry early on and makes her move, which kinda came out of left field seeing as how she had been snogging a couple of other dudes over the years and seemed to lose interest in the Potter. Harry’s picking up what shes laying down, doesn’t matter to him that he could have had his pick of any of the girls in school, I mean he is the motherfucking Chosen One after all…

Anyway…all this talk about what might have been had Harry and Hermione hooked up got us thinking about how much we enjoyed these films and books. So join with us as we discuss the films based on J.K. Rowlings work and ponder what could have been had she only had the conviction to go with her gut and kill Ron off…should be fun, till next time friends, stay entertained.

-D

@ ShitAboutFuck
@dhbates87
@onetripdown