Avatar or: why I couldn’t watch this entire movie

Posted: June 10, 2013 in Op-ed, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I had extremely high hopes when I first sat down to watch Avatar. What with all the box office records it broke and people committing suicide, how could this film not keep me entertained, it is the worlds highest grossing film after all. Director James Cameron already held that title with his previous blockbuster Titanic, which I really enjoyed. So, Mr. Cameron releases two films in the span of about twelve years, holds the number one and two spots for highest grossing films of all time and again I ask, how could this film not keep me entertained? Well…let’s dive in.

“But…it’s beautiful.” That’s usually the first thing I hear when I disclose the fact that I never finished watching Avatar. I have no argument with that, it is a visually astounding film. The Na’vi home world is breathtaking, the vibrant colors and brilliant landscapes are usually only found in dreams. I find no fault in the cinematography. Lets move on.

“Dude…it made billions of dollars.” The second thing I hear. Again I can offer no argument to this fact. Box office records were shattered by the second coming of Camerons Blockbuster touch. This film broke and holds too many records for me to list here. Well I could list them here but we’ve both got better things to do so I’ll move on.

“What do you mean you nearly fell asleep?!!!” The third thing I hear when discussing this film. Alas it’s true. As I sat in my home, popcorn and soda near at hand, my eyelids began to droop as my head lolled to the side. I admit I too was shocked by this development. How could I be about to fall asleep when the big blue kitty had just jumped onto the dragon things back? My friends the simple truth is…I was bored. For all its bright colors and wondrous landscapes, the CGI and special effects, for all the strange creatures and plant life found on this beautiful alien world and yes even for all its obvious references to the treatment of the Native Americans by the white man, I still found the storyline boring. I tried again, giving it a second chance and a few more minutes but when the second head loll came, I reached for the remote and for possibly the third or fourth time in my life I stopped watching a movie only partway through.

“You should have went to the theater to see it.” This is the closing argument of my cinephile friends and perhaps they are right. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more in IMAX 3D with thunderous sound systems and over priced concessions, surrounded by people as opposed to the comfort of my home. Perhaps the fault lies in me. There’s always the chance that I wouldn’t know a good movie if it walked up and bit me on the ass, as I’ve been told on occasion.

If you’ve hung in there with me this far down then I promise it’s almost over.

Maybe one day I’ll go back and give Avatar another shot and maybe I’ll even make it all the way to the end after all I’ve been told I missed out on a freaky blue kitty tree sex scene or something like that.

That’s my opinion friends and you know what they say about those.

-D

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